I had to write something….

So much to talk about….
I have made a commitment to myself to blog here everyday and have been walking around all morning trying to decide what to write about.

Less is more
So of course when you want to write about everything you end up writing about nothing…..
If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything….

Working out loud – what a pussy. 
Which made me recall that I am working out loud, I am sat here at my other favourite London co-working place contemplating about thinking.
It has happened again, I am looking at a list of stuff that I have plenty of time and ability to do but don’t know where to start.

Yes of course I have made a list – and everything else that will propel you towards it all happening.

I am trying to pull myself out of an episode of Duke Of Hazard that is playing in my head (the one where the county gets it’s first traffic light that the cop with the dog hangs from a tree) and to stop looking at the book shelf here, it has a Kafka book on it!

Which of course is no use to me right now. But I like the fact it is there.

I finished the brilliant Start something Stupid by Richie Norton a couple of things hit me.

1. Somewhere in there is something about self talk and creating the world through language – I can’t remember what page or story. When I wake up in the morning I have “got into the habit” of going Bollox (you might have noticed) then going into the kitchen and popping my anti-depressants and then going things can go either way. If my super power is awake in time I MAKE myself think of good things and get going. I am getting much much better at that. Today I felt like an small lorry carrying epileptic horses had landed on my head.

As fast as I could I was out the house, it was still a long time. Of course I had to wait for iOS 7 to download onto my phone and walk back and forth 23 times before I left. (dives me mad – I know I should just go) I am even pissed off I am writing it.

On the days my super power kicks in, which are more and more these days I can slay everything and be zooming. The stupid thing is that very often the days are the same, it is my head that is not.

2. Asking for help – how hard is that? Richie tells a few stories of how he can’t ask for help or accept it.
I don’t need outrageous help, I need little bits of help, wordpress this, childcare that, paint this. Nothing like “can I borrow your helicopter for the weekend?”
I find it really hard to ask for or accept help, which is dumb – why? Because I end up getting helped with stuff I don’t need to the peril of stuff I do need help with.
So hands up if you need help!

Thanks for all the comments, emails and tweets yesterday – it made a great day even better. 

I am tempted to write “I am sharing my drivel here everyday” then write so self apologising mash up.
If you have read this far – Thanks, I am grateful rather than apologetic, I know I make it look easy but it is not.
I say this with confidence because many of the people who have commented back know the effort that goes into writing (and living).
I am always happy to laugh at myself as many of you know.
I am thinking this as I read something today that went something like “don’t waste time putting yourself down as there are enough people in the world that will do that for you.”

There is a fine line between ego and self worth.
I always hope and pray I land on the self worth side, not the ego maniac side – this always really really worries me. I hate to be a “big head” ;-(

Enough! Thanks for reading, see you tomorrow and please check out my mate Phil’s 30 day blog here.


I have to add – we were just talking about this video from London 2012 Paralympics with Public Enemy as the sound track – which I love! I defy you not to be motivated!

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