So I have been reading and reading and reading and reading and now I know too much. So I have to be killed.
Well that is how it feels in my head. I have just whipped out my ipad to write this blog as a way of getting started writing today.
All that is needed is to just write then everything will be great. If I go back and clean the bathroom again or tidy the sock drawer I will end the day hating myself all over again.
You could ask me to talk about the message of the three blogs I need to write today and I could deliver you an off the cuff two hour key note with rock solid takeaways - NO PROBLEM.
Write some words in a google doc and share them with the team?
NO WAY!
How can I do that right now? I have rested well, I have a quiet house to work in and all the hardware and software I need to deliver.
Sleep when you are dead
I am falling asleep at the table here. This is a crazy thing my head does when I need to push through, it is what Steven Priestfield calls the 'resistance' and it is calling me to lay down on the sofa for twenty minutes.
Fear not reader! I have learnt to battle this and win, as my head searches for more evidence of feeling triumphant when the work is done vs the despair and agony of not keeping my word and delivering.
As nuts as it sounds I get up and walk around and count to ten, I write things on post-it notes and then add them into my task list later if they still apply, not many of these 'things' do even though they seem like emergencies as I think of them.
There I feel better already. I have woken up and have stopped falling asleep as I sit here.
That all took about 15 minutes, if I had given in and lay down I would be asleep now and would have woken up in a panic. Suddenly I can't wait to get going again.
Obsessive Behaviour (slight return)
This 'turn around' comes from writing everyday and that silly little thing called meditation. When my head wants to do 'it's thing' I now know how to outrun it, also I am cock sure that dropping sugar, processed food and bread,flour, gluten from my diet has had a massive effect on both my mental and physical well being.
Hands up! I have become a 'tad' obsessive about food being Bulletproof - which for me is ok. I am always obsessive about something, marathon running, drugs, Apple products, Red Wine, self development courses, religion, mountain biking, girls, boys, cocktail bartending, the General Election, music, Dell products (really??)
If you have known me a while I bet you can think of more!
So being obsessive about eating food that is real and makes me feel brilliant is probably one of my more constructive obsessions. Being depressed seems a very very very long way off these days and I can feel that marathon running obsession about to rear it's head again.
So where was I?
(Photo credit - #supercoolwife - one of my favourite pictures EVER)
