Working Out Loud Part 5 – Approach with purpose (Slight return)

The trouble with being a self proclaimed blogger is that you have to blog.
I love the idea of blogging, every time I blog something good happens so I am sitting here at 90 Mainyard blogging and / but taking AGES to do it. 
I am not MAKING myself write this, I am not doing battle with myself or going through some horrific punishment.
This is more of a ‘if I give up smoking I won’t die’ type thing – or ‘if I go to the gym I will feel happier, healthier and won’t be fat and short of breath.’
Blogging and publishing delivers me an energised feeling and here is where the torture is.
I am tempted to go into a ‘how I write’ blog now but my friend Ripley Nox always pops into my head, she has written LOADS of good stuff and introduced me to – you can find her blog here. 
I remember her elegant snark one day about people who write about how they write and this being a very well camouflaged form of procrastination. I recognised myself right away.
What I am taking ages to get to is this:
This week I am ready for battle, I have developed a solid system over the last few months (maybe years).
It is a combination of Evernote, Trello, Fancy Hands and Catch App and sticking to a few things and saying NO!
The things I produce and get paid for are blogs and podcasts.
Which is really convenient as I totally love this.
But blogs and podcasts are like children, you have un-conditional love for them AND they are really hard work.
People who say “this is really easy, this is really simple, I am following my passion (puke) are stone cold liars.
Something that always makes me want to reach for a shot gun are smug assholes who run seminars and events where there is an opportunity to be upsold to a ‘super course’ at the end.
These people are always full of fake tan, talk about writing books and refer to Richard Branson and Guy Kawasaki every few minutes so you think they work together all the time – oh and use the word ppassion every six seconds.
If you put the effort in and read the same books as those tanned people you too can have ‘access to this magical world’ called JFDI. Where was I?
So it’s not easy. 
I don’t mean ‘not easy’ like being a child in the Gaza strip, I mean not easy as you have to open your eyes, start alert and get out the way of yourself.
It is really easy to ‘have a rest’ or ‘not have a rest’ and waste loads of time.
But life is really really urgent, sometimes I sit flicking through the Apple website debating if an ipad or an ipad mini should be the next tool to help me be more productive.
Then I punch myself as I watch or read something online about war zones, famine, slavery and economic destruction.
I am not sure where this post is going now but I am rattled, and this year I feel I have woken up and need to take action.
I am really lucky, not because I don’t live in Gaza. I am really lucky because at least I have a choice, everyday I have a choice and in many parts of the world any type of choice is an unheard of luxury.
This time last year I just did not know what to do every minute, life was a dizzy, sickening blurring challenge that was a weekly journey of panic and being sick.
I was watching a news report with Jon Snow where a Doctor told a father of a three year old boy that the boy was vomiting because he was stressed.
The boy was stressed because buildings kept blowing up around his house, the father was stressed about the same thing and as well as being stressed about his child being sick.
Fuck me.
I have a three year old and I have been sick because of worry – I can relate to those two concepts, watching the report was even more cutting because I can pin point an emotion and a physical reaction to being a father of a three year old and being sick with stress.
That is where my point of reference ends – being in  a situation like that is beyond my comprehension, I am not sure I could cope.
This weekend I was sick most of Sunday morning.
FEAR NOT – I was sick because I had stopped – I had the choice to do nothing and took it. My mind and body still has a default setting of ‘panic and despair’ when faced with a blank agenda it went into meltdown.
I am lucky because I ‘get sick’ when I do nothing.
Where ever you are. Be there.
Less is more.
Right now I am working on this post and I am here, I am behind time but I have booked extra time in case I run over. When I leave I am going to be with #babybernie and switched off from this.
I have more time because I say no.
Even if your thing is the best thing ever I am going to say no.
Saying no has given me more time to consider others, others who are with me everyday and others I will never meet.
There is a connection between the work we do everyday, what we let happen and what we let wash over us. We can’t all be everywhere saving each other but we can be open an transparent and clear with each other.
Approach with purpose 
I have known about the tools I mentioned above for ages, I started to use EvernoteTrello in 2011 and could not find a purpose for them.
Now I am organised and know what to do or rather I have purpose and projects to use them with.
Being places like 90 Mainyard and Ouishare help shape that purpose, direction and work. I am still working it out, (and working it out loud) if you ever find me coming across as ‘someone who has it all together and runs success seminars about influence and being a guru please punch me in the eye.
I have found there is no map, the app or the tool or someone else is not going to save me, and I don’t need saving anyway. I need to admit I know what I am doing, make decisions – even if that decision is doing nothing in order to repair my energy, mind and body for the next week ahead.
I have to post this now, there will be an update later – I have to pull this together. I am moved, upset, inspired and angry all at the same time.
Sent from my mobile device!
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