Under Pressure – Childhood to Fatherhood to Fascination

WOW! My spine tingled. I had forgotten this.
Two of my favourite things ever (other than you my reader) are Queen and David Bowie.

I had the Queen Live Magic! And played it until it broke. Back then we lived in Southampton, went to school on Hayling Island and only person in our road had a car phone.

I must have thought about this line every week of my life since I first heard it:

“Chippin’ around, kick my brains ’round the floor
These are the days – it never rains but it pours” 

Something up?

Hey, I am fine today, in fact I am know this is head stuff has got better. In the last week I have felt more focused and driven than ever before.

I wanted to share this as I spend so much time walking around thinking about that line.

This is certainly not a negative post.

I am not sure what I want to say, it is just that I still pinch myself that I am a Father, that I made it this far and we laugh together. Recently my Dad has gone from 60 – 80 in the space of a few months.

We have to work out where we are going to eat and things like that now, a day out on a bus needs to be planned and we have to walk through parks with benches.

I heard a rely in a podcast today where the guy was talking about how his Father had had a hard life growing up and that he had to work hard or his family would starve.

The guys said his Father had to be the man of the house as his own Father had died when he was fifteen, the guy being interviewed said that no matter how many times he heard the story he still could not get his head around it.

He then recounted a line he had heard, “You don’t become a man until your own Father dies” – I am still reflecting on this – it did strike me hard.

I would be pissed off if my Father died now, him and #babybernie have made a connection that has enabled me to make a connection with both of them.

When #babybernie was born as euphoric as I was it hit me hard, I grew up 25 years in three years – I could not see and was numb, it was not his or anyone else’s fault.

I really felt like I was kicking my brains around the floor, so many times I’d sung that song at parties and in clubs without a care in the world and now here I was with my brain actually out on the floor and I was kicking it around.

Some days after #Babybernie was born I’d lay on the sofa and imagine my brain rolling around the floor trying to find a solution. If I had been off my face it would have been ok, I could have explained that to myself.

So where am I going with this?

I have been humming the beginning of this song a lot lately and it occurs as the start of something that is building rather than a last chance saloon. I often listen to this song next:

Which has me spinning around on one foot and typing fast.

I love it.

So does #babybernie – we move like tigers on Vaseline to it.

See you on Periscope at 06:30am for some #LLBS shorts – or what ever I end up calling it. – This is ten minutes every weekday morning here are the first few – they are HORRIFIC – but I am ok with falling in public. 




%d bloggers like this: