I’ve always toyed with the idea of making a T-Shirt with the question ‘do you even know you are alive?’
But am less angry with the world these days.
As I look at the mental health of the world and my mental health I am sure being mad at people is counter productive.
For example, the days I am pissed off with #Babybernie are the least constructive of his life.
The best days are where I make an effort to ask questions, rather than issue demands, complaints and parking tickets. These are the days we are both rewarded with learning and harmony.
Being pissed off
I am forever wondering why I get pissed off.
Think about it.
Why do you get pissed off?
Is it a chemical reaction?
How often does someone do something to you?
Here @WorkHubs I have a micro bitch about people not washing up or taking the rubbish out.
Other people support me if I open my mouth and complain.
But complaining does not add value to the world.
All those little moans and squeaks I could make would be like slow drip water torture to the community.
I always think there has to be a funnier way to inspire people to action than moaning. Besides, moaning depresses me.
“Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Howard Thurman
Come Alive
Somewhere I read about going on a ‘no complaint diet’, Years ago I even made this a habit to develop, and this has forced me to come alive.
So every time I get through the day without moaning, bitching, sniping, groaning, answering people back by saying ‘the only problem with is……’ etc., etc.
I’ve got very skilled at over the years at the ‘pseudo complaint masquerading as a question’.
I can tick a box in my productive app when I have not complained all day.
One Easy Thing You Can Do To Come Alive?
So that is it, not moaning makes me come alive, I am sure it will work for you too.
The Bad News
Look, if you are going to try this you will have to get out your comfort zone, and that will be bad news for you.
My comfort zone for a long time was ‘I am depressed’ it was a delicious place to operate from, who dare challenge me?
I’d got so fucking low I tried to stick a knife in my wrist one night before bed and could not even get that right.
I ripped telephone boxes off of walls in banks when no one listened to me.
5 minutes later everyone in the bank was hearing me loud and clear.
I don’t know when I went on my ‘no complaint diet’ but my days started getting lighter and my thoughts clearer.
My anxiety level plummeted.
Every day I’d have a decision meltdown over which avocado to buy.
And that was after I’d had a meltdown about which shop to purchase the avocado!
I love to laugh at myself about this now.
It is a joy to stride through my week these days. I am happening to my week rather than my whole fucking year happening to me in a week.
But this “drama” is going on all around; I now see it in people because I know what it looks like from inside me.
A Little Bit Every Day
We talk a lot in our @Workhubs podcast about ‘building a little bit every day.’
Our favourite examples are ‘The Compound Effect’ by Darren Hardy and 750words.com.
A group of us who write together are on our way to the million word mark in 750words.com.
This is our best story about doing a little every day and how it builds, imagine if in five years you had complained a million times less. (I know that does not work but you get what I mean!)
No One Made Me Do It
One day I plucked up the guts to stop complaining, no one made me do this – I just did it.
Then I plucked up the guts to stop blaming everyone else – Even if it was their fault.
After that, I developed the mental capacity to stop boiling everything in my head three hundred and thirty-three times.
The constant second guessing was exhausting for me until I stopped it I had no idea how it was killing me.
Mental Freelancers
I hope this little share helps you or someone near you. I read a lot in freelancer forums and other places online where people sharing the struggles with life, work and mental health.
After being depressed I know even less what to say to people. I wish I could go back to the ‘2012 Bernie’ and help him out.
While he would not listen to practical help I think I would say to him ‘Hang in there Bernie, you’ll be alive again soon.’
What is making you come alive right now?
