Usually I hide when it is my birthday and don't tell anyone. Last year I hid under the big tree in our friends garden in a little village in Poland.
I am motivated to write this because the journey from that tree to my birthday this year has been important. (Well important for me anyway).
The turning points are best described in trips.
The trip to Poland to visit our dear friends enabled me to finally start to reconnect with myself and the deep amazing awe when I met #supercoolwife in Kraków in Febuary 2005.
Being there again with her and #babybernie combined with my head being a long way away from my seemingly permanent wanting to kill myself since 2011 gave me a glimpse of joy. This time I had the mental strength to push the door back and let the joy start to flood back in.
As I walked around our beloved Kraków it occurred to me how numb I had become as depression had set in over the last five years. My relationship with time (not time keeping - that is a no the ri) was shot - We had been married nearly nine years and #babybernie was already three! Where had everything gone?
The next time I woke up was in Lisbon in a place called Lost Lisbon, there were strange people with long hair and stickers on their computers who spoke in Italian and French accents.
It turned out I was at the European coworking conference and in the copass house. The copass house was like a party without the hangover. We ate, we coworked, we sailed, we coworked, we surfed and coworked. Then in between we went to the coworking conference.
We hailed a plane on the streets of Lisbon and shot back to London to prepare for the OuiShare Sunmit we were hosting at 90 Mainyard.
