I’m scared it won’t be as good in real life as it’s in my head

All I ever wanted was a blog, well a website with a blog.

I LOVE blogs and people who blog.

I read daily and lap it up and I write daily and have often gone through stages of publishing something daily.

Not a ‘publish daily’ daily blog, rather between projects running alongside each other.

For a couple of years now I have produced a podcast weekly in the same fashion. But all I see are projects on my computer that are getting ready to go, they are almost there and it drives me insane.

I spend my life feeling unfinished, almost there when I have done ‘this’ or ‘that’ I’ll be ready to go.

I’m forever sharing with people how to progress their own blogs and podcasts. I particularly enjoy this aspect of being part a collaborative workspace. Every few minutes is a chance to discover what someone is working on.

Eat My Own Dog Food

My mantra is always ‘hit publish and move it on’, this is how you’ll learn, so I am going to hit publish and learn.

If nothing else I’ll get the hours I spend daily thinking about hitting publish back. Then I can replace them with whatever comes after I have hit publish, at this stage I have forgotten.

The blog you are reading came to me while we were sitting at our Not So Manic Monday Meet Up on, er Monday.

Weekly I turn up and move the same things around my Trello board. I also track how I am doing on this app called Beeminder.

The things that are never getting done are hitting publish on content and landing pages.

This is my site and @WorkHubs, both are on the Rainmaker Platform, a WordPress power website, with a few tricks.

I make this point about the Platform because it isn’t as if I have to get a developer to finish the job.

90% of the work is drag and drop, and I’m scared it won’t be as good in real life as it’s in my head. Silly me.

OK, so you’ll be reading this thinking we all have that problem, Bernie.

Or if you are a little more together and less patient, you’ll be thinking FFS get on with it, you moaning drama queen.

That bothers me too, so for the purposes of this blog and perspective, this is a personal share. I know people with far bigger issues than finishing a blogging project.

And yes I do have a lovely life here in the ‘First World London.’

So with perspective in place, I’ll press on.

Somewhere in the last decade I found and lost my voice. I’m sure what happened is it had an ugly birth, got a bit of a kick in and then went into hiding.

Not the finally in my post-depression triumph is step is to tempt it back out the voice cave. May be wrapped it in some cotton wool and spend a few months letting it build up the strength again.

How do I know this might be a problem?

Weekly a small group of us jump around the community table @WorkHubs for Not So Manic Monday – “Deep Work” Meet-Up. Here, we plan our individual weeks together and talk about blocks.

I’m amazed people in real life have blocks in their work.

They too struggle to fit it all in and look for ways to get more done in less time and have time for families and rest.

(I thought it was just me)

Starting each week this way, along with other project stand-ups and tracks I’ve built up a decent momentum.

So the few things that slip through the net are showing up more and more.

My other repeating element is the heartfelt encouragement I find myself sharing with other people to ‘hit publish and move on’!

I dread being someone who pontificates and talks the talk but does not walk the walk.

Yet on this part of hitting publish I’m all empathy.

The empathy I have when I see a friend get angry and shout at their child and then they feel bad.

It’s the feeling of knowing I’ve done the same thing. 

How I too have lost control a bit, even though it isn’t my idea of how you’d like our family and relationship to function.

I too have shouted and regretted it.

Then all you can hear are TV child advisors telling you what a shit head you are.

So this piece you are about to finish reading is my open letter to kickstart my publishing practice.

It’s not hard, I LOVE writing and podcasting and getting this far today has restarted my engine.

30 Something Weeks To A Better Blog

At our weekly London Bloggers Meet Up we are following the Problogger 31 Days to a Better Blog.

This will be the framework for our next 30 weeks of Meet Ups.

Also, I am going back to the Fizzle Course — How To Build A Blog That Matters. 

Both of these places and Copyblogger have taught me so much over the years.

Hit Publish 

Today I am happy to say ‘I am a bit stuck putting this all into practice’ so I am going to do it here on this blog.

So people like you can see my working out after all this is the stuff I find most helpful and interesting.

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