Rescue Time, takes a cigarette

I have really got into tracking my time in the last few months.
It is out of frustration rather than amazingness needing to hand in time sheets.
I don’t like trading time for money, it is dumb in this day and age and even dumber if you are a freelancer or indie worker, but that is another blog.
If you are wondering about the David Bowie picture, well I love him and need to get a refinance in as often as I can! But read on there is some blogging gold coming up. I think.

Time Taking.
I have been using Rescue Time app for well over five years now and it was a punch in the face how much time I spent on social media, especially Facebook.
I did not think I used Facebook that much, I was more of a twitter and Instagram kinda guy.
Facebook is a fucking wormhole, watch out! HOURS for what?
Also, I spent a lot of time on Amazon and Audible even when I don’t need to buy anything.

Hang On To Your Self
Rescue Time also highlighted where I was NOT spending time.
The best places for me to hang out on my computer are Rainmaker for my site and @Work Hubs, Trello, Google Apps and Mind Meister – mapping app.
This is where all my meaningful high-value work is done, what I really mean is this is the shit I can do that converts into cold hard cash.

So why would I hang out on Facebook?
It delivers short term reward for me, a lot of our family and friends live outside London and the UK so I can keep up with them.
Somewhere deep in a synaptic tendon next to a molecule of serotonin on its way to my medulla is a little voice saying “getting them to like your picture on Facebook is as good as a plane trip – isn’t it?
The frustration was knowing what I have to do, having the time to do and then suddenly waking up and not to have done it.
I am way past the point of putting it down to being dyslexic, depressed or laughing about being easily distracted.
I have all those things going on and coping systems in place to fend off and overcome that toxic and self-loathing behaviour.

Lacerate Your Brain
While I have no empirical evidence to hand I am certain that flicking through Facebook every day for a few hours crushes your head.
The combination of scrolling and never ending combined with shit news from shit news channels and people you know doing ever so slightly better than you is like pouring acid into our head. Well, my head anyway.

All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I’ve had my share, I’ll help you with the pain

Productive Tension – helps me with the pain
I am now in my 3rd week of my first  12 Week Year. I have deeply deeply deeply committed to tracking what I do and don’t do and how these daily actions serve to transition me from a life I tolerate to one where #Babybernie, #Supercoolwife and I are thriving in the sunshine.
Instead of diving into deep depression (like I did this time last year) the 12 Week Year has quickly taught me to recognise this ‘doom’ as “Productive Tension” –

“One interesting thing that often happens around this time in the 12 Week Year, is what we call “Productive Tension.” Productive tension is the uncomfortable feeling you get when you’re not doing the things you know you need to do to reach your goals.
Productive Tension is exactly what you want to experience. It is the lead indicator of substantive change. If you eliminate bailing out as an option, then the discomfort of Productive Tension will eventually compel you to take action on your tactics. If turning back is not an option, then the only way to resolve the discomfort is to move forward by executing your plan.”
(Moran and Lennington 12 Week Year)

I have always suspected I am playing way smaller than I am capable of.
(Just don’t tell anyone I said that.)

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