As #Babybernie has grown up I have shouted “focus” at him when he was doing things like learning to eat with a fork for the first time or was holding onto the sofa to try and walk.
This killer comedy line has come back to bite me in the arse.
The arse bite happened at the Rural Hub in Italy at the OuiShare summit, every time I was presenting a project or suggesting something in front of the community – yes in those precious moments when everyone is obligated to at least look like they were listening to me – #babybernie would appear from nowhere and shout “Daddy! Focus!”
Of course everyone laughed so he did it even more.
He caught me at a time when I was dealing with my midlife crisis and thinking about the human I really want to be.
It was very tempting to kick him out the way and get on with pontificating my ideas to the obediently assembled OuiShare community.
As inconvenient as it is the last thing I want to be is the parent of an overly complying and un-curious child.
This life choice does have it’s challenging moments, for instance being bouncy and curious is shit when we are really tired and on long plane ride to Argentina.
Over all he gets it and will play on his own for ages, in fact one of the best times is when I am writing or doodling on post it notes and he is playing lego or drawing, the silence and companionship is priceless for me.
One of the few people I ever felt this comfortable with is my Grandfather or Grandpy as we called him (my Dad’s Dad) I’d follow him around his workshop and garden and we’d “do our work” and just be there together.
8 Days a week
So #babybernie starts school tomorrow and I am left thinking where did all that time go? Yesterday he was holding onto the sofa learning to walk on his own and now he is screaming “Daddy! Focus!” Then falling over laughing.
I have lost my two days a week with him, for the last few years I have looked after him for one to two days a week and I am still wondering how I have missed out.
So this means time counts more than ever, also in my quest to stay on the right side of the depression curve I want to make the most of my time.
Sitting down to watch a movie and chill out is a fantastic thing to do.
Spending a whole day to watch the entire season of House of Cards is both mad and fun.
Spending every waking hour watching shit TV because you are scared of the real world and have slept too much to sleep anymore is shit.
So I am not going back there.
Getting it all in.
I am forever working to find the daily routine and sequence that works for me, I am obsessed and yes I could just get on with – but I can’t – some people like to polish the bonnet of their car and I like to work out how to get the best out of the times of day I am most ‘alert’ – there are not many so I need to grab them!
Morning is my best time, the feeling of having a lot done early in the day is very very motivating later on in the day for me.
When I worked in events and hospitality I loved the early shift, the breakfast shift, the no one else is around yet shift.
When #babybernie was a very little baby he’d wake up in the morning have a feed so I’d get up too and then lay him on the table between my keyboard and screen and work, this might have scarred him with carpal tunnel syndrome or something but the bonding was important for us both.
I looked and looked and looked for more time and listened to early days of Beyond the todo list with Eric, also books like Making Ideas Happen, The Now Habit and Eat That Frog, Brilliant Life and The Power of Less helped me form my own routine.
So this is where it is now.
I got over that face melting tequila feel by adopting this recipe by Helen on her blog How to Prepare an Apple Cider Vinegar Detox Drink. The addition of lemon, cinnamon and honey is significantly more palatable!
– Victim D, probiotic and medication.
– Then meditate for 20 minutes – sometimes more if I had woken up earlier – meditating longer is getting more and more attractive.
– Write 750 words – which I am doing now.
– Monday to Friday do a 10 minute periscope.
– Send this to Fancy Hands to process
– Get showered and dressed and then zoom to 90 Mainyard to arrive before 8am on the journey I either listen to the blogs that have arrived into my pocketapp that day or write a blog on my phone using voice dream writer.
Done by 10am
The target I am working towards is to publish a blog post and podcast by 10am everyday.
After 10am I am researching or recording podcasts until 3pm which means I can go to pick up #babybernie from school.
I get Fancy Hands to schedule podcasts in the time block between 10am and 3pm and I am using a the beta version of a brilliant new app called “Podclear” that enables you to record a podcast directly online so no more fucking around with Skype.
That is as hard as it gets.
If I swap it round and research and podcast in the morning and then write in the afternoon it is total game over.
The days when I don’t do it in the right order means I become possessed by some petulant procrastinating child syndrome and then stay up late until I have finished – which could be 4am.
Also, I LOVE being able to stop in the afternoon and then use the evening to unplug – I am still crap at this which is why I am working to protect this time, I have a shit habit of checking my phone, a habit I am determined to replace now I have lost my two days a week with #babybernie and #supercoolwife.