I have had this routine for at least three months now.
Get up at 5:30am
Drink Apple cyder vinegar (thanks Lou Lou)
Make some Mate (Argentine tea)
Write 750 words
Then head out the door with #Babybernie
Drop him at nursery and then zoom to 90 Mainyard – my East London coworking lair.
It is the only routine I have sustained in the last ten years. When I used to have to show up somewhere for a pay packet everyday I had a routine, in fact one of the things I loved was improving on my set up times when I worked in a kitchen or bar.
It is only after a bit of reflection I realised this.
I have tried getting up at 5am but that is too early, well not too early but I don’t get enough sleep, unless I go to bed at 8pm, I can get up at 6am and write very fast which is what I have done today.
The danger with this is we end up rushing out the door and I still get exhausted by stress, well we all do – early morning stress exhausts me. It is not bad news the drains me, or even a little argument – it is the feeling of pushing up hill in mud which is what trying to get a child out the door feels like.
When there is time there is no stress. Of course you knew that.
So I am not sure which way to go now, talk about the ‘less is more’ or talk about getting going in the morning.
Less is more won.
I have always been doing too much. When I was younger I always had two jobs, worked extra hours and went out even more. I never stopped. Even when I was working two jobs and going out too much I always found time to do something else as well. My head and body never stopped, I thought it was normal to be awake 18 hours a day and then sleep for two days every so often.
Running from place to place was exhausting and my mind never settled, my head was always three events behind where I was and when I arrived in a place I’d take a while for all of me to arrive there. When mobile phones arrived it meant I could be in four or five places at the same time.
Now I switch my phone off at weekends, ok I have a quick peak here and there. Or I put it in my bag so when I put my hand in my pocket I don’t touch it and bring it out on auto pilot.
It hurt at first and I was bitterly disappointed to find out that twitter, facebook and instagram were still there when I went out for the day and then came back.
A lot of people recommended meditating to me before, during and after my breakdown. It took me a while to find the right method and also I found it very hard to sit still.
I started to use an app called head space, you start with 5 mins a day and now I am up to 20 minutes a day. It has slowed down time for me and cleared my head – I am amazed.
I am also amazed at how hard I find it to sit still and the ‘self destruct thing’ I mentioned yesterday is always doing battle here. My head jumps all round the place and I have urges to check my phone, write something down, open my eyes, make a joke, lie down and go to sleep. In everything apart from what I have decided I should be doing then which is sitting down and doing nothing – absolutely nothing.
Economy of Hours (Echo) are running an eight week mindfulness course which people from my coworking space and my good mate Mike are doing for an hour and half every Tuesday.
Doing this in group with people who are a big part of my life is already working for me. There is no secret handshake, special tea to drink or language to use you just get on with being you. If I had read that sentence even a year a go I would have lusted after it, now I am just calm and move onto the sentence I am writing now.
That is all it is.
Last bit for today.
Back to the routine, I scheduled my time so I ‘start’ at 5:30am, drop #babybernie and then work in 90 minute blocks with breaks until 2:30pm.
This means I only work in the morning and that is all I do.
Of course this does not go to plan but what it has done is cut out the working at home in the evening and made me plan my work and time better.
I have said no more and more, even thing I think are cool I have said no to, which hurt, but not as much as the agony of letting people down and walking around hating myself.
This last week has been the busiest for ages with three big events, they went well and I felt I got deeper into each event than I have done before and also made more connections and was able to look forward better, what I mean is they were less ‘BIG EVENTS’ and more part of the journey.
Friday I chose to take off and rest, on Friday morning I was a ill, tired and also had a ‘come down’ – something told me this might happen and I was ready.
The day before all I had done was introduce people to each other and talk, I loved it and I felt really alive and present in the room, this takes my energy – in a good way – in the same way that really going for it on a run or bike ride is rewarding and then leaves you tired.
While I was switched off I occidentally signed up for the London Marathon and started this blog challenge – of course I am scared – but I am also feeling very connected with myself and on the right course, which is a long way from where I was this time last year.
See you so tomorrow!
Thanks for reading.
Sent from my mobile device – ‘scuse typos guv.